How Top Podcasters Sound Like Experts with Annelise McCarthy @herspeakingcoach

Transcribed from the episode audio, so you might spot the odd typo.

Alycia: Welcome to the podcast, Annelise McCarthy. So good to have you here.

Annelise: I'm so excited and this is such a gorgeous setup. I'm

Alycia: Oh, thank you. We love this space and I'm so excited to have you on. We were just talking before we hit record because I think something that you do so well is break down these concepts so easily for people to understand. You know, like podcasting, of course is speaking, speaking on stages, but like even just in your general life, holding a conversation with people is speaking and some people get so in their head and so nervous about it. And I know you have so many incredible tactics that you teach people, and I'm so excited to share some of them with our listeners today.

Annelise: It's an honor to be given a space to nerd out, honestly. So thanks for letting me nerd today. It's very exciting.

Alycia: Love it. We're gonna get full, nerdy. Um, so everyone wants to start a podcast, right? And one of the hardest things is actually holding attention when you are podcasting. You know, you jump behind microphone, you're like, cool, I'm gonna start, I'm gonna have this conversation. And what do you see as the. Biggest difference between someone who is presenting and they're seen as the go-to. They've seen, like they've got confidence. They're coming across that they know what they're talking about, and someone who just can just behind a microphone and they feel like they're kind of a beginner and they're not really sure of what they're talking about.

Mm.

Annelise: Great. First question. I think the first important differentiation with that is you are only a beginner. If you think you're a beginner, like if you perceive yourself to be a beginner and you don't think you belong behind the microphone. Everybody else is gonna think you're a beginner. Everybody else is gonna think you don't belong behind the microphone. So genuinely the biggest differentiation between somebody who is a pro presenter, sounds great, commands attention, and somebody who hesitates and is maybe more shy is they genuinely will sit in that chair and they're in a dialogue will be, oh my God,

Alycia: Yeah,

Annelise: Who am I to be sitting here doing this? Like, what? What am I gonna talk about? Like, what value do I have to share like this? God, what do I do? Whereas somebody who has worked on building their voice and building their presence, when they sit in front of a microphone or they stand on a stage or whatever the platform might be, it's an inner knowing. It's like, oh, what a privilege today to get to share my zone of genius. What a cool opportunity to get to talk to people about what I do, and I think somebody who is a beginner will focus on the fear of making mistakes. Somebody who is a pro will recognize that mistakes are literally part of the process.

I'm a professional speaker and I'm not a perfect speaker. There's two very diff big differentiations there, and I think when you are a beginner and you wanna command attention and command presence, one of the big mistakes that we do firstly, is we don't actually put ourselves in the right head space and mindset before we get behind the microphone to command that space. If before you get in the chair, you have that inner dialogue that is putting you down or it's a disservice to you, or it's encouraging things like self-doubt or imposter syndrome, you are never gonna speak well, you are never gonna command the space. It doesn't matter how much you know, communication's, energy, that's all it is.

Like you listen to people who, they may not even be saying things that are super articulate or make sense, but they've just got an aura about them. Just like really

Alycia: Yeah. Like I could listen to you for hours, but don't even know

Annelise: They're sticky, they're magnetic. You are like, Ooh, like there's something here. I just, I really gravitate towards, and I think that's the big piece that people need to focus more on. It's when you focus so much on your content that you're saying, and you really get in your head about, do I know enough and can I do this? What you're doing is you are limiting your value to purely what you know. Whereas presence is all about, it's not what you know, it's who you are.

Alycia: It's love.

Annelise: So when you embody who you are and you get to show up in front of the camera, or you get to show up on stage or in a networking space or wherever the room might be, visual, auditory, physical, doesn't matter. When you have a knowing of who you are and you have a groundedness in yourself of who you are, you can't have a beginner mentality. The beginner mindset doesn't matter. Like I'm a beginner in a million different things, like I'm shit at a lot of things. I will say it very confidently, but that doesn't discredit who I am, and that doesn't discredit my worth.

It doesn't discredit my value. So if you are starting a podcast or you are new to sharing your voice, don't let the newness of it stop you from doing it. Like you just, it's just new. It doesn't mean you're bad at it. It's a rite of passage to suck. Yeah. So you're allowed to suck when you start.

Alycia: Everyone has, everyone begins somewhere. Absolutely. And everyone feels those same emotions, and I think so many people think like, oh, like, you know, it's only me that's feeling this way. If I was like, if I was the go-to, if I was the expert, I wouldn't feel like this. It's like everyone does.

Annelise: Everyone does. I literally, I was at an event yesterday with extraordinary caliber of speakers and we're all sitting at the table together and I turned the woman next to me and I'm like, are you, are you like. I'm getting a little bit nervous, like sitting here with these, and she's like, dude, I'm shitting myself right now. I'm like, okay. I'm good to know. I'm not the only one. Like even, you know, and it's interesting. In my line of work I coach, you know, CEOs, C-suite executives, these are women at the top of their game. And even though they are running a company and they've got 500 thousands of staff members, they are still doubting themselves.

It's everybody. It's universal. But the differentiation is if you doubt yourself, you project that energy outwards, meaning other people will doubt you too.

Alycia: If

Annelise: If you just do something with confidence and you back yourself and you breathe and you ground yourself, and you allow yourself to take your time, find your space, people don't question it 'cause everything seems intentional.

Alycia: Yes. I wanna get really tactical on this episode, and you've just mentioned a few things there, which is like breathing and grounding yourself. What other things can people do to really set them up, set themselves up for success when they're jumping behind that microphone to be able to feel confident?

Annelise: So many things. First and foremost, if you are recording, sitting down, we need to set your energy before you sit in the chair, because if you have been on your laptop all day and you've been in meetings all day, and then you're like. Okay, it's two 30. It's time to record, and you hit record and you start that episode. You are not in an energetic space that's gonna magnetize people to your voice. Podcasting is really unique 'cause it's voice, now it's video two, but people listen to you for how you sound and how you speak, and there's an energy attached to the magnetics and vibrations of your voice. So before you actually sit in the chair and do the thing, you're gonna stand up.

You're gonna blast some Beyonce or some Taylor Swift or whatever it might be, and you're genuinely, you're gonna move your body around in a way that feels ridiculous. You're gonna shake out all the limbs, you're gonna get the hips moving, like Shakira, do something weird. Smile like actively use the cheek muscles to smile as you're doing it. Jump up or down, shake out the energy. When you sit down in that chair, now

Alycia: Whew.

Annelise: You've got a, you've got a vitality to you. You've got a zestiness to you. It's not like. Okay, here we go. Like you've, there's, there's an energy presence. That's the first thing I'd say is reset your energy. So when you sit down, that comes through your voice, right? Yeah. Second thing I say, I have a bit of a rule with speaking when on a chair, and it depends on the type of chair you're sitting on. It depends on the type of, uh, you know, whether it's a presentation or, or a podcast, whatever it might be. But did you ever play, uh, the floor as lava as a

Alycia: Yes. Oh my God. We still do with my daughter

Annelise: Okay, so for those listening, if you haven't played the game, it's, you know, random objects on the floor and you can't touch the floor, you have to jump from place to place to place. So I always like to think about the back of your chair is lava. So when you're sitting on a chair, like right now, if I collapsed fully into the chair

Alycia: Mm-hmm.

Annelise: Over the course of a 25, 30 minute, 45 minute episode, because my body and my spine is relaxed, it will change the way that I speak.

Alycia: Mm. If the

Annelise: Chair is lava and I have just a slight activation in my spine that keeps me poised. You're attentive that, yeah,

Alycia: I was gonna say, everyone watch

Annelise: Straighten that spine, girl, straighten that spine. Get those ties out, right? But it, it keeps you attentive. It allows you to really be present and put yourself forward in a space of when your posture is strong and your open and commanding space. 'cause what so many women do is they shrink. They try not take up space and they'll make themselves as small as possible. When you have that small reminder of, oh, chairs, lava, you are, are taking up that space, you're expanding. So that's a big thing I love to do. If you are somebody who gets nervous before recording, you have to regulate your body.

You have to Now there will be different people that talk about different types of breath techniques, but one of my favorites, 'cause I'm an anxiety girly, it's the irony with what I do. I've lived with anxiety my entire life and I coach the world's number one fear. Right. I get it. It's very funny.

Alycia: It's why you're so good at what you do though, because you get it right. Like you've actually been in the shoes of the people that have it too.

Annelise: I get it. I get it. And I know there's lots of people who will talk about things like box breathing or whatnot, and that's, that's great. But when we are thinking about speaking, we want to remove as much tension and restriction as possible. Something like box breathing, which is breathing in, holding, exhaling, holding the hold, creates tension. So what we wanna do is we wanna create as much ease and flow as possible. So there's a technique that I love, which is called straw breathing. And straw. I know girl, I'm a little bit cheeky. Straw breathing is where you imagine you have a straw in your mouth and when you breathe in, you breathe in through your nose, and when you breathe out, you imagine you're breathing out through that straw.

Alycia: Mm-hmm.

Annelise: So you have little purse slips. Now, when you do that, you'll notice you can exhale for a really long time, and that exhale is slowing down the parasympathetic nervous system. It's calming your central nervous system. It's activating the vagus nerve. So what we're doing with that slow exhale is your bringing your body into a state of calm. I'm a big believer that the most confident speakers are the ones with the most regulated breath pattern.

Alycia: Yeah,

Annelise: Because if you're calm in your body, if you're at home, if you feel at home in her and she feels comfortable and you are in control of her, you feel good. It's when your heart's racing, it's when you're sweaty, it's when you go red that you start to feel out of control. So it's coupling the mindset of, I can do this. What a privilege to do this. I'm excited to do this. I'm excited to be here. Like really getting that mindset on side, calming down your body and allowing yourself to regulate your central nervous system. And please, as well. Warm up your voice.

Alycia: How do we do this? What do we do?

Annelise: This is where I get a bit nerdy. Uh, so, you know, podcasting is all voice. It's all voice, and there's so many different muscles that we're using with a podcast because it's all on the microphone. Now we have a habit, particularly in Australia where we mumble.

Alycia: Mm.

Annelise: So we have a very small mouth, and people will mumble through their sounds and just by not opening up their jaw, you can hear how already it completely changes the quality of what I'm saying. Now if we are tired or if we've had a long day, if we're exhausted, we don't use our jaw as much as we normally would if we're feeling energized or well vested. So the first thing is you have to warm up your jaw. So literally like opening your jaw muscles up and down.

Alycia: I'm gonna make a reel

Annelise: That's it. That do it. Do it. But like up and down, stick your tongue out. Move your facial muscles, like get your eyebrows lifted. Like the more expression you can put into your face, the more you can wake up your facial muscles, the better. Because when you are speaking for long periods of time, you're using your lips, your teeth, your jaw, like your cheek muscles. Everything is working over time.

And if you are somebody that doesn't talk a lot for a living and now you've pressed record and you're committing to sitting down for 35 minutes, you will get vocal fatigue. Hmm.

Alycia: Mm-hmm.

Annelise: You will imagine you never run. Yeah, you never run. But suddenly one day you're like, bitch, it's a nice day to run seven K. Let's go. Let's, let's go, let's do it. I'm like, well, hang on a sec. Your calves are gonna, are gonna kill, your ankles are gonna get sore, your knees are gonna hurt. You're gonna get, you know, shin splints. It's the same with your voice. And I don't think many people take it seriously because they think, oh, well, I talk every day and my voice is fine. It's so different.

Alycia: Seen so many exercises and they're all just like, like,

Annelise: I mean, look, if you wanna do your high school musical Sharpe Evans, like you can, you can do your boom and your ma and your whole thing, right? But you don't need a lot to actively warm up the voice. It doesn't. You don't need to spend 30 minutes, 45 minutes doing it. You need the exercises that activate your muscles intentionally and that get your mouth working if you start to generate a lot of sliver, good sign.

Good sign. It's like when you start working out and you get lactic acid in your muscles, it means it's working. Right?

Alycia: How is this gonna change your voice when you do this versus not doing it

Annelise: If you don't warm up your voice? Firstly, what we're trying to focus on is clarity of sound. So when you are speaking and you haven't warmed up your voice, you don't have as much control over the articulation of your sounds, so you slur. So there's certain sounds like even in Australia, we replace a lot of our D's or with T's, or T's with D's. So butter. A great example, right? Butter. Now, I'm not saying that you have to sound English when you speak. That's not the purpose. We're not trying to become little British babies here and start a colony.

But what we're trying to do is speak in a way that allows us to feel in control of our voice, speak in a way that when you're communicating a message, there's no double meaning. What? What? Yeah, to go back 15 seconds to hear it again. You are clear. And when you are clear, you're transparent. When you're transparent, you're understood. So when you do warm up your voice and you do these exercises, firstly I want you to start treating yourself like an athlete. If you're a speaker, you're an athlete. Welcome to the sport. How do you treat your body? How do you treat your mind? What do you fuel yourself with? Ah, another one before you jump on the mic.

Don't have dairy.

Alycia: Really don't

Annelise: Have caffeine. Don't have alcohol. Like, think about your throat like a muscle. If you have dairy, you're creating phlegm in your throat. The throat clearing that happens. Yeah. Or the tongue clicking,

Alycia: Mm. Oh my gosh.

Annelise: Which is the stickiness. Does Apple

Alycia: Does Apple work for that? I have seen so many people say, have a slice of apple and it'll get rid of mouth noises.

Annelise: I can't vouch for that myself, but I'm gonna try it now. I haven't

Alycia: That. I feel like it's just like saliva production. It would make

Annelise: Look, it makes sense. And look, speaking of fruit, pineapple's a great fruit to have. 'cause it has bromelain and bromelain is really great for the throat. So if you're gonna have any fruit, I vouch for pineapple before you speak 'cause it's got brom in it, uh, but yet don't have dairy, caffeine. It basically spikes your energy and your blood sugar and it also dehydrates the throat. You're stripping all of your natural moisture. Same with alcohol. So when people say, oh, have a quick shot before you get on stage, or have a quick fix before you do the episode, I'm like, no. Don't do that because you are, you're removing all of the lubrication that you get naturally.

And then what happens, and I hear it all the time, is people finish speaking for 30 minutes, 40 minutes and they go, oh, my throat's really dry. Yeah. Oh, my throat's really sore. You know, or they, or they lose their voice. And that tells me not treating it like an instrument, you are not treating it like you're an athlete. You've gotta take this craft seriously. And if you want to make it long term in the podcasting world, which is not one episode. You would know it's episode after episode after episode. Start treating your instrument with respect

Alycia: It's so interesting, like we've obviously produced thousands of podcast episodes and I can hear our podcasters, their voice change over time as they get more confident as one, but also as they, I guess find themselves and they do more content and those sort of things. I listen back to some of my own podcast episodes when I very first started, and I do have that head. Voice and it's just so high pitched, and I think it was so much of that is I didn't know who I was or what I was talking about. I was very unsure of the things I was doing. But now my voice is so different. That's happened accidentally. So if someone wants to bring, I guess, more gravity to their voice and those sort of things, how could they do that?

Annelise: Hmm. One of the easiest ways that you can practice speaking is to speak, believe it or not, surprise, believe it or not. The more you know your instrument, the more confidence you have to use it. And when you are, you know, podcasting is, it's so much about storytelling as well. You know, you're speaking to your audience, you're taking them on journeys. Imagine if you had the confidence to be able to lean in to stories, make people. Excited.

Alycia: And I love just the pauses that you did there as well. 'cause that is so powerful. Like we've analyzed and audited so many podcasts, the, the best podcasters in the world, and they all have things that they do with their voice or their storytelling that will just captivate you and it will make you like lean in almost to see what they're doing to say. And there was a really interesting one. I'd love your take on this. There was, uh, a woman two. There were two podcasters and they both interviewed the exact same woman. They almost asked the exact same questions, and us looking at it, I can see that two things were very different. Obviously they were different people, but the reason the podcast felt so different was because the pitch.

We're so different. And I guess like the, the pace of their questions. Can you talk about how important that is in terms of like when you are, I guess, trying to create an environment and being conscious of your tone and your pacing and the way that you even ask

Annelise: Yes. Well, first and foremost, you've, you've brought up a brilliant point because you have to be conscious of what is the environment. Of conversation you're curating if you are my guest right now. And we came in here and we're like, oh my gosh. Okay. Alycia, welcome. So excited to have you here. My love. How are you? How are you feeling like that is a very different opening to Alycia. We are so grateful to have you here. This is such an incredible opportunity for us today to dive deep into your story. Hear about more like. Immediately you've got two very different podcasts, two very different conversations. So when you are planning to have guests in, you want to think about what is the environment you're curating for that guest.

But I also want you to lean into their strengths. This is why knowing your guest is really important. Do your research. I'm a very energetic gey. She's a bit chaotic. It's the Capricorn in me, right? So I know that like I have a lot of energy and I can speak from a really energetic place. But before we jumped on this episode, you told me you're like, I want this to be valuable with tangible tools.

So I'm like, oh yeah, we're getting nerdy. Love it. And just with that little direction, you've told me how I'm gonna show up today. If you came here today and you said, and Elise, you know, you've got an incredible story. I just wanna give you space here to tell your story today. It would've been a very different podcast episode. So I think knowing who you are interviewing and doing your research and, and really leaning into their strengths and having an opportunity to have that five to eight minute conversation beforehand of, you know, is there anything that's off limits for you today? Like, what feels good for you today? Like, being able to assess what that is with the person you're interviewing, but then also knowing how you start determines where you're going.

Always. So how you start with the energy that you start with, with the, the tone of voice, with the body language, that will determine where it goes. I would really give the invitation strongly as well for more interviewers to be conscious of their interviewees. Body language, very obvious when somebody's struggling with a question. It's very obvious when somebody feels uncomfortable. It's very obvious when somebody is losing their train of thought or, and your job as an interviewer is to make them comfortable. Your job is to support them in those moments. So the more like, I love how you say you, you listen to it and you would, it's your job, but you listen to millions of podcast episodes.

If you are serious about podcasting, let's take a leaf out of your book. Let's get obsessed. Let's watch, let's listen. Let's get curious about what makes a brilliant episode. What is it about the way these people speak? What is it? What was it about that? Man, I loved listening to that episode the other day. Okay, great. What was it about the episode that made me love it?

Alycia: Yeah.

Annelise: What was it about the conversation about the language? Was it, was it the questions that were asked? Like I think the more curious you can get about speaking, the better speaker you'll become.

Alycia: Definitely. And I think even just learning the little tactics that they do as well. Like if you watch diary of A CEO and it's difficult 'cause sometimes Okay. Which is

Annelise: About Steven? Because I can talk about that man all day. I

Alycia: Know, right? And it's hard 'cause sometimes they change the camera angle so you can't see everything that he does. But little things he'll do is if he wants more out of a guest, one thing he does every single episode without fail is he'll pause. And he'll just leave the silence. And sometimes you're like, is the episode still going? 'cause there's just no one talking and he just waits for them to finally talk and open up.

But other things you do, if you notice him on his, um, on the video of diary eo, if he wants more, he just like tilts his head. And so you don't have to even say things. So I love that you talk about body language because I think our voice is so important, right? And it can completely, as you've said, change the whole dynamic of a conversation. But there's little things that you do

Annelise: Such little things. Such little things like even, oh, there's so many, but like nonverbal cues when someone's speaking, like nodding or the little like squinting of the eyes is the recognition of like, I understand I'm processing, this makes sense to me. Yeah. The tilting of the head, like these are all little cues we can give people of go on, this is resonating. You are doing great sweetie. Keep going. Like that kind of vibe, right? But even auditorily. The pause. Fantastic. Beautiful. Love that. But even like very simply, tell me more,

Alycia: Tell.

Annelise: Tell me more about that. Help, help me understand more about that. Like these are really simple cues that we can give that give interviewees freedom to take the conversation where they want to go. And I think, you know, there's a lot of podcasters that rely on question after question after question. If I may, I think there's one big piece there that I think shows a difference between somebody who's very comfortable interviewer and somebody who is relying on a script as an interviewer,

Alycia: When

Annelise: Somebody gives you an answer to your question, can we make it a rule that you don't go? Oh, amazing. Thank you so much for that. So my next question is. Because what we're doing here is when we are not listening, firstly, we're not listening to what's being said. We're not validating what's been said and we're not actually giving our audience takeaways of what's being said. Your job as an interviewer is to take what the interviewee has said and it's like, honestly, it's like when you mc and to break down.

Takeaways or nuggets or like, oh man, I, I loved that bit that you said there. Can you help me understand for somebody who, and you do this brilliantly 'cause this is your job. So I think that's a, a really important takeaway for people who are perhaps, you know, new to this or wanting to get more confident in their podcasting. Actively listen, brilliant way to practice this. Listen to a podcast act as the host.

Alycia: Mm. Genius.

Annelise: So after somebody shares pause, pause the episode. How would you respond to what they've said?

Alycia: So

Annelise: What would you do? And that's a really simple way. And the comfort of your own home to practice building that muscle and practice active listening. 'cause communication is a two-way street. Yeah. So the more you listen, the better it's gonna be received.

Alycia: And it's so frustrating. You're like, you'll hear them and you're just like, oh, I just. Wanted more from that. Yeah. And you can tell the entire time that someone is talking, all they're thinking about is their next question. Like, and these, these cards are brilliant. They're mostly for branding guys. But in here we never really go through all of the questions on here. Like they're a guide in a direction of where I'd like to take the conversation, but I'm not sitting here reading off a script. 'cause you can hear when someone's reading. Two, and I wanna go into storytelling 'cause I think you have some beautiful frameworks around like communicating your message and those sort of things.

Before I do, one of the biggest problems that we see, and obviously we edit a lot of podcasts as

Annelise: I know where this is going.

Alycia: Going, oh, the Disfluencies, the ums, the ahs, the pauses you just mentioned. Amazing. Like I feel like every single human has a word. Mine was amazing for a really long time. I'd be like, Hmm. Amazing. Tell me more. Uh, I have one at the moment, which is. I think it's, that's cool. I think is what I'm saying at the moment, guys, you won't hear it as much. 'cause I edited out, but that's my go-to at the moment. How do you remove these from your vocabulary?

Annelise: It's a great question. So the first thing is, are you conscious of it? So you've just said, I think mine at the moment is, that's cool to me as a coach, I'm like, oh, that's fricking amazing that you know that. That's great. That makes my job so much easier. 'cause when you're not conscious of a filler, you keep using it or disfluency, as you beautifully articulated. When you're not aware of it, you keep using it. So the first step is you have to know what it is. You have to listen to yourself. If you are podcaster and you're not listening to your episodes, let's start there.

Alycia: What about if someone says, before we get into that, I have so many people that say, I won't listen to my podcast 'cause I hate my voice. How do you combat that?

Annelise: I get asked this a lot and transparently, I think it, it saddens me when I hear it because first and foremost, how blessed are we to be able to have a voice box to speak?

Alycia: That.

Annelise: So many people that don't even have that now, for a lot of people who get on a podcast, it's not even the fact that they don't like how they sound. It's the fact that they've recognized this is now out there for the world to judge. One of the biggest pieces of speaking with confidence is if you judge yourself, you've invited that judgment from everybody. If you judge you, they will judge you. So if you are hating your voice, first and foremost, can we lean into a little bit of compassion there and really genuinely as a strong invitation, work on the relationship with that.

Secondly, if you are like, oh, there's things I wanna work on here with my voice. Hi. Brilliant speaking. Coaches exist for a reason, right? And there, and also free shit online. Like I can't even tell you. Like I don't, I've got a million videos online. Uh, VIN Jang is another coach of good friend of mine. I love him there. There is so many brilliant people spreading the good word of communication around the world. Invest in learning how to use your toolkit.

Alycia: Yeah.

Annelise: So if it's something you genuinely feel like, oh, I wanna get better, I, I actually don't like how I sound, that's okay. We can recognize that, but we can also recognize, well, there if you wanna change it or improve it, there are things that you can do to do that. But I don't like people that rest on their laurels of like, oh no, I just hate the way I sound. Yeah.

Alycia: Yeah. Like, if you are fully backing yourself and your message and you know that you are helping people, because that's what you do with podcasts, right? Like you are putting content into the world for free that someone can listen to and it can genuinely change their lives. Like, if you know the power of your words, you are gonna be less likely to hate it as well.

Annelise: Literally like when you and I, I love that you've shared that because when you land in the value of what you're doing and how significant that is, that you've taken time out of your day to sit in front of a microphone and maybe you have a producer or maybe you edit it yourself and then you've put it out there into the world. How do we even have time to criticize? Podcasting's a full-time freaking job mate.

Alycia: Oh yeah.

Annelise: I've got, there's a reason I don't have one yet. Like, it's, it's a big deal. It's a big commitment. So there's a lot of people in my life who have podcasts at very successful podcasters. They don't have time to criticize 'cause they recognize I'm putting value out there. I'm putting it out there imperfectly. I'm building my credibility, I'm sharing my voice, I'm helping people. Where on that list do I have space to say, oh, but I don't like the way I sound. Oh. But like, I hate that.

Alycia: That,

Annelise: Like anybody, I'm gonna say this with a lot of confidence, I might get backlash, but anybody who continues to show up online, create a podcast, share their voice, and every single episode, they will finish going, I hate the way I sound. They will never be a successful podcaster.

Alycia: I agree.

Annelise: Never. Because you also, you will put out that energy every time you record. Like, oh, I don't like how I sound here. I don't like how I do

Alycia: You can hear it in the microphone.

Annelise: Yeah, that's it. That's it. And I hear people self criticize on the air. They go, oh God. Oh, sorry. Just back yourself. Do it with confidence. You doubt you. They doubt you. Like I remind myself that of every day, if you doubt you, they doubt you. If you doubt you, they doubt you, like you have to back yourself. 'cause if you don't back yourself, then you're losing that relationship, that trust in your voice. You are always gonna criticize. It's just gonna be the most exhausting journey.

Alycia: Mm Yeah. Literally exhausting. Exhausting. Okay, so now you have no excuse not to listen to yourself back. So we are listening to ourselves back. How do we then remove our arms and ups?

Annelise: Ums and ums. So as I mentioned, first and foremost, if you're not conscious of a filler word, you can't get rid of it. So you have to be conscious of it, which is why you have to listen to yourself, listen to your episodes. If you don't know if you have a filler, find the closest person to you in your life, your partner, your friend, and ask them, honey, do I use filler words? And they will go, yeah, babe, you do. Oh, that's interesting. What do I use? And they'll go, oh, you say I don't know a lot. You say, um, a lot. You say just a lot.

You say, does that make sense A lot.

Alycia: Mm.

Annelise: So many of these that we use and we use 'em subconsciously. So step number one, get conscious of your filler. You're gonna write it down on a sticky note. You are gonna put it everywhere. You are gonna put it on your desk. You are gonna put it on your bedroom mirror, your bathroom mirror. Every single day you're gonna have a visual cue. Of that filler word, because the more consciousness we can bring to the filler word, the less likely we are to use it. Like if I said to you right now for the rest of this episode, you can't use the word the or a right. I'm not gonna set that challenge. But let's say I did, or I said, you can't use the word, you know, fantastic.

Or podcast, right? Just as a game. You are very hyper-conscious of not using that word. It's, it's, it's there now. Okay. All right. So the second piece here is you need to know why you're using your filler. If you don't know why you're using it, you're never gonna actually get to the root cause of what creates the habit. 'cause it is habit. Everything in communication is habit. Fillers can be circumstantial, they can be environmental. So a circumstantial filler is in a situation where a filler comes up because either you dunno what you're talking about. Or you're trying to avoid an awkward silence or you've lost your train of thought.

Right? Those are the most common reasons as to why we use 'em. Circumstantially, environmentally, however, is the interesting one. Environmentally, for example, I went to an all girls school and there was one filler word that I picked up as a teenager, which was used every single day by hundreds of girls in my school, and that was like.

Alycia: Like,

Annelise: Because it like, you know, it just like, was like, yeah, I don't know, like fun. Like it just like year

Alycia: Year nine.

Annelise: Passage. That's it. Year nine trauma is, is, it's the like, and it's constant. So if you recognize there are people in your circle that use a certain filler or there are podcasters that you listen to that use a certain filler, I literally, I can't listen to certain podcasts because of their fillers. I'm so attuned now to hearing them, and so when I hear them, I'm like, oh, it, it, it disrupts my enjoyment of listening to it. So if you recognize there are people in your life that use it, then that's gonna be the conscious recognition of, all right, this might be a bit harder for me to break the habit because I'm hearing it every single day, but you're conscious of it, which is the most important thing.

So now we know what your filler is. We know why it's happening. Then we get to how do we actually get rid of it? There's a few things you can do. So number one, the sticky note. I cannot overemphasize how powerful having a visual representation of your filler. Imagine getting a yellow sticky note and just writing UM in big capital letters and putting it everywhere. You're becoming more conscious of it every single day, right? The second thing is I want you to practice and prompt you speaking like your life depends on it. Every single day. If you wanna become a great speaker, this will fast track you. In little to no time. Every day takes 60 seconds. Random topic.

Random word, how your, how your day was, whatever it might be. And speak without stopping for 60 seconds.

Alycia: Love that.

Annelise: Now as you're talking, your only intention, I don't care if you're making sense or not. I literal, I couldn't care less, couldn't care less. Your only intention for the 60 seconds, do not use your filler,

Alycia: Genius.

Annelise: But hang on. Wait. This is interesting 'cause something happens here. 'cause as you talk. You get a mental blank and you go, um, uh, oh wait, shit. I just used my filler. And we realize, haha, the habit, it's come out now we're aware of it when you get a mental blank or when you dunno what you wanna say next or when you get stuck. Like the only way that a silence becomes awkward or uncomfortable is if you make it awkward or uncomfortable. I could very comfortably sit here in silence with you 'cause I have no issue commanding that. Silence it. It feels fine for, I can hold that. It's okay. It's, it feels intentional, but for many people, that level of connection and presence and taking up space can feel really scary.

And that's okay. But that's why the impromptu speaking is such a powerful tool to practice because every single day you're building your fluency. You're building your articulation, your your fluency of thought as well. Being able to think on the spot, and then that filler word over time starts to go away. That habit starts to remove. Now, the last one you can do, it's a cheeky one. If you don't wanna do it, you don't have to do it. But if you do live with somebody, if you live with a partner, a roommate, a friend, it's really handy to get them on board.

Alycia: Where

Annelise: Go, Hey, listen, I listened to this episode recently is call check annise, and she said that when I use a filler, you have to clap or you have to click, or you have to go Uhuh. You just used it. Now what that's gonna do, they're gonna have way too much fun doing that firstly. So you're gonna bring a lot of joy to their life. Uh, but secondly, that is a auditory cue and an auditory cue. Just like the sticky note, a visual cue, an auditory cue is super powerful. You imagine if in this room right now on this episode, if we were conscious of fillers, imagine if a bell rang.

Alycia: Yeah.

Annelise: We would be super fricking conscious, babe, of not using it. If we knew that's it. If we knew a bell was gonna ring, we'd be like, okay, don't use it. Don't use it. Don't use it. Right. But I will say the last thing I'll say about fillers, I'm not the filler police. Sometimes they are necessary for fluency. I'm never gonna be a woman that's like, you can never use them.

At all. Never. The ones that I'm more passionate about are the non assertive fillers. Those are the ones that I would prefer people iron out the, just that I don't know that. Does that make sense? Because it does nothing for you. Nothing. It limits your credibility. It lessens your authority. It makes you feel more comfortable, but it completely diminishes your presence in the room. So ums and ahs, I understand if you are littering your speech with them. Let's focus on getting rid of them. But if you have an um, or an RA couple times in a 40 minute episode, like that's okay. That's so okay. What we don't want is we don't want a literate 24 7 when we speak.

Alycia: Because you mentioned that you are so hyper aware of them as well. What we found is there's so many studies about them and people subconsciously disconnect every single time you say it. So if you're saying it so often, it does two things. One, they will subconsciously disconnect. The other thing they'll do is it kind of diminishes your credibility. Because if you're saying, um, and ah, and you're not really sure about what you're talking about, you mentioned one of the reasons that people often do it is because they're not sure what they're going to say next. And so there is like a lot of psychology based studies now.

I'm just hyper aware of my likes.

Annelise: Mentioned,

Alycia: I just said the word, like whether you guys hear it or not, different story, but, uh, there are a lot of, uh, studies around that that it does take away from your presence.

Annelise: Absolutely. I, I, it's so funny, I, so I released a course this year called Articulate with Confidence because this was an issue that I would be asked about all the time, how to improve my speech fluency, how to speak under pressure, how to speak on the spot, how to remove filler words, like, and I think the, the brilliant thing about that is knowing you're not alone. If that's something you struggle with, I can prompt you speaking. That is one of the hardest skills in the world. It's like almost as hard as standup, like talking on the spot. And what is a podcast interview? Talking on the spot.

Alycia: Feel. The best way to practice is inpro you Speaking genius. I love that. Getting chat. JP. To do it with you on the voice mode

Annelise: Oh,

Alycia: You're driving places. So pretend I'm on a podcast and ask me questions. Oh, my

Annelise: Oh, oh. Brilliant.

Alycia: Or your one I, I like your one better because it's then about completely random topics that you are not going to know what to say next. So when you're talking about yourself, you are more likely to be a bit more confident and not use filler words at all. But if you're doing it on a completely random topic, you could get it to do that too.

Annelise: Yeah. Oh, I love that. Leverage ai. Of course, I, I forget that it's a big thing now that we can use, which is obviously so helpful. But yeah, the voice element of chat, GBT, that's brilliant. 'cause that way you get to have a conversation and even instruct chat. Tell me when I speak how many filler words I use.

Alycia: Ask it to tell you. Yes.

Annelise: So if you are going to do that practice with ChatGPT and you put the voice mode on, be like, Hey, chat. Uh, I want us to spend the next 10 minutes doing a mock podcast interview. I want you to tell me how many times I say, um, every time I give you my response. And I want you to tell me how intentional I am with listening to what you've said and being able to validate what I've heard before I ask the next question like that.

That's such a great activity to practice.

Alycia: Yeah, definitely. We've spoken a lot about speaking and how you use your voice, but something that you just touched on, which I also love, is the use of the words that come out of your mouth. So you mentioned the words of like, oh, does that make sense? And those sort of things. You have a really good reel about this as well, that talks about what those words do. Can you explain that? Like what? Those words can do when you're trying to, I guess if you wanna be known as the go-to or the authority and you're saying, oh, does that make sense?

Annelise: Does that make sense? Is a really interesting one. So I'm very passionate about assertive communication. It's one of my favorite things to teach. And I think there's a very big misconception around what assertive is. And a lot of women, especially shy away from the word 'cause, they're like, I don't wanna be a bitch. I don't wanna be bossy, I don't wanna be rude. I'm.

Alycia: I'm like,

Annelise: Do you even know the definition of what the word is? Because that's, that's, that's not even in the fine print, babe. Like, that's not even associated with it. So first and foremost, when we use non assertive fillers, like just, sorry. Does that make sense? I don't know. Maybe perhaps could, like, these are really fluffy statements and what these statements do is they discredit yourself. When you speak, it makes it sound like you are an imposition. You're apologizing for existing. You don't, I don't, I don't wanna fully insert myself in the conversation, so as a get outta jail free card, just in case I've said the wrong thing and just in case I've overstepped, I'm gonna say, oh, but does, does, does that, does that make sense?

Like, does that it, okay, cool, cool, cool.

Alycia: Now.

Annelise: It, does that make sense? I've had people say to me, but what if I'm actually genuinely asking If it makes sense first and foremost, then you're asking the wrong question. You are asking the wrong question because you don't need to ask if something makes sense because you have to back that what you've said has been spoken with clarity, has been spoken with authority, and that the message has landed.

And so a way that you clarify that is you say, does that land, does that resonate? How does that sit with you? What questions do you have? There are other ways that we can clarify or get feedback on what we've said than saying. Does that make sense? Stop giving away your power when you speak. And this is the thing, it takes a lot of confidence. I understand. I really do. It takes a lot of confidence. It takes a lot of presence. It takes a lot of commanding to end a statement with a full stop, not a comma and not a question mark. And it's the up speak. It's the going up intonation change. It's the intonation change. It's, it's the questioning of self.

That diminishes that credibility. It diminishes that authority.

Alycia: Can you give us an example of that, like a sentence that goes up versus down? 'cause we talk about this all the time as well,

Annelise: The, when we use intonation, um, it kind of sounds like we're asking a question, like when we, does that make sense? Like we're Yeah. We're asking a question when we talk. Um, and it's, it's something that I feel people, um, don't really realize that they, that they do. But what it sounds like is that you are really unsure. When you're speaking, and so you are, you, you're hesitating and, and you're questioning, and at the end of every sentence, your pitch goes up. Um, does, does that make sense? Can we, can we acknowledge that is simply a series of habits

Alycia: Skill

Annelise: That completely changes how people interpret you? This is why I'm so obsessed with communication, because when people really land in the fact. This is a toolkit that you get to master and play with, and it gets to be that easy. Those are the people that seriously spread their ripple effect. Those are the people that become memorable. Those are the people that have authority. Those are the people that are respected and remembered because they've been courageous enough to experiment in public.

Alycia: You can learn this. That's the best thing about this. Absolutely. Like back in my corporate days, I was the, the youngest executive in a team of a multi-billion dollar company, and I had to present to boards and I was doing all the intonation up and I was, does this make sense? And I was speaking to an incredible mentor at the time, and I'm so grateful for her. She's like, we need to work on your speaking. Like we need to look. And I, I'm still working on it now, but just those tiny changes of removing those words from my vocabulary completely changed. How I was taken in those meetings.

The content didn't change. What I was saying didn't change, but the message was delivered so differently and it was like literally like a light bulb. Yeah. How much that changed. And you can learn this. This is not something that you're listening to this podcast and you're like, that sounds like me. No. It's like, okay, that sounds like you. Let's change that. No.

Annelise: Yeah. There's look, two, two key things that you've said that I love. Number one, it's a rite of passage to suck. Like, can we make it an expectation with this skill? You're gonna suck. You will. And I think this is what frustrates me the most. When people start speaking, they start a podcast, they start trying to get speaking gigs or whatever it might be. They mess up and they take it so personally and I get insulted. I'm like, well, hang, hang on. Wait a minute. You thought you'd be good on the first try, bitch. I've been at this for 15 years and I still trip on microphone chord. When I walk on stage, I still get mental blanks. I still fumble. What do you mean?

What do you mean you thought you'd nail it on the first go? What do you mean? How can you set yourself up for failure that astronomically? Because if you are coming into this new skill and you respect yourself and you're committed to your craft, you know, 'cause you embody it, it's never ever gonna be perfect. It's never gonna be perfect. You're gonna suck. It's gonna be awkward. You're gonna be embarrassed, you are gonna listen back, you're gonna cringe, you're gonna ask the wrong questions. You're gonna fumble, you're gonna freeze. But what happens there and what's different? What's gonna differentiate a great speaker from an average speaker?

A great speaker, will listen back, will give compassion where compassion is due, and will take notes on what to improve. We'll get back in the studio and we'll do it again. A good speaker will listen, will criticize. We'll book in the next meeting.

Alycia: Mm-hmm.

Annelise: They're gonna take the same habits to the next meeting and they're gonna take the same mindset to the next meeting. Speaking is so much about identity, and this comes to the second point that I wanted to mention. What I loved what you said, you said somebody came to you and they said, we need to work on your speaking. That is such a gift.

Alycia: It was really was

Annelise: That is such a gift, and I really, I really encourage if you are, you know, in the podcasting community and you have people that you are close with. You note things that they could improve on in their episodes or if you have ideas like, or a community that you get to share with what a gift to fail publicly

Alycia: Mm.

Annelise: And to build that skillset together and to support and empower one another together. Like that's extraordinary.

Alycia: Yeah. My, the way I picked up my amazing was our crypto podcast at the time was really well known. We had, you know, thousands of listeners every single week, and the comments was like, I just wish you'd say anything other than amazing. Every time someone asked the question and like, you know, some people would say that and go, oh my God, this person's trolling me. I was like. Thank you, because I didn't know I did that, even though I was editing the episodes at the time, I didn't know that I was doing that, and now I do, and okay, I'm gonna change that straight away.

Annelise: I used to have a, a massive, massive habit of saying right.

Alycia: All the

Annelise: And I, and I wasn't aware. I didn't know. I didn't know, but I remember I did a presentation two years ago. I did a keynote and I, I'd go to the end of a sentence, like, right, right, right. And I probably still do it, hopefully not as much as I used to. But I remember I got off stage and there was this woman, she was really, really lovely. And she's like, great speech. And she said, I have, I have to ask, are you aware that you say right at a lot of the end of your sentences. And that was such a gift. 'cause I realized that was my way of getting permission of, is this landing?

Do you, am I saying the right thing here? Does this make sense? Have you got, but it had become a different word that had become a different habit. So it's being aware of these things, like awareness is key. It's how you shift, it's how you change, it's how you evolve. So I love that you've brought that up. 'cause it's, it's such an important point with moving forward, getting that awareness piece, asking for feedback, being proactive with getting feedback. It's how you improve.

Alycia: Yes. And guys, if I have any still, please tell me like I love learning this stuff. I think that, as you said, it is such a gift and just reframing those comments to being a gift instead of that, something that you've spoken about in the last couple of things I wanna cover off with you. One is about being memorable. And the other one is with a podcast, you have to build rapport. Right? And I know you've mentioned that MCing is, uh, an sorry that MCing is a place where you have to build rapport really quickly. You have to activate and again, energize a room. And I feel like podcasting is almost the same. Like they hit play.

You have to give them a reason to stay. So what are things that people can do, whether it's in their podcasting or in a presentation or anything like that, to be able to be memorable, but also build rapport with people really quickly.

Annelise: Oh, brilliant question. I love the way you've articulated that. So memorability is all about how you make people feel. That's it. It's actually got nothing to do with what you say. Like, I've listened to that many podcasts. I remember five or 6% of the content that's shared. I remember a hundred percent of how the episode made me feel. I just finished listening to the Steven Bartlett episode with Matthew McConaughey.

Alycia: Oh yes. I

Annelise: Oh, you'll love it. You'll love it. It's all storytelling. It's two and a half hours of storytelling. But I think the brilliance of that episode in which I nerd out on being a coach is it demonstrates the power of feeling. It demonstrates the power of being able to convey emotion when you speak, giving people a reason to lean in, giving people a reason to care. So if you wanna be memorable, firstly, you gotta give a shit. You gotta care. You gotta be passionate. You gotta be bold with your passion. Don't be shy about it. Don't tiptoe around it.

Don't get cringey about it. Go full in with it. Show up fully. Show up committedly. Tell them what a fan you are. Tell them how much you love them. Tell them all the things you, you're, you're passionate or excited about for the episode. Like, lean into what makes you you. 'cause what makes you you is what makes you memorable. How many podcasts do you know how many podcasts around the world?

Alycia: Four and a half million less than you would

Annelise: Think. Okay, four and a half million podcasts in the world. That's a lot of noise. So if you wanna be memorable, you gotta start thinking what makes you stand out. And I'm gonna tell you right now, it's not your content. It's not your content. What makes you stand out is people tune in 'cause they're like, oh my God, I love Alycia. Ah, next episode cycle, right? They tune in 'cause they build a relationship with you. They tune in 'cause they love hearing from you. They love the way you dissect things. They love the passion, they love the analysis, they love the interview style.

It's the feeling that people have. So if you wanna be memorable, you gotta start focusing on how do I wanna make people feel? And it's actually a beautiful intention to set before you start recording. Even just intrinsically solo episode or with a guest, just decide for yourself. Set an intention. How do I wanna make people feel in this episode? Do I want 'em to be energized, inspired? Do I want 'em to be entertained? Is it gonna be funny? Like if you set a feeling similar with the filler word, if you bring awareness to that, you're far more likely to follow through with it. So memorability is feeling, that's all. Communication is how you make people feel right now.

Building rapport is a skillset in of itself. Massive skills there. Now I have a very vivid memory. When I was 16 years of age, I worked in real estate. It was one of the very first jobs that I had, and I worked door knocking and I was at the, uh, open homes every Saturday, and the auctioneer would give the, the bidding numbers and I'd write down the bidding numbers.

And I remember I worked with my dad, and this was in Sydney, and my dad had this extraordinary ability. Every single open home, every single Saturday, I'd be standing there taking the names and numbers and he'd be standing beside me at the door. And he would welcome every single person that would come into the home, but he didn't just say, hi, how are you? He would welcome grandmothers new parents with kids, teenagers, every single person that came through the door. He had this extraordinary ability to get on their level to connect with the grandparents. It would be, how are the grandkids? looking for a new coffee place locally. Where do you guys go on a Sunday?

What's it and what? What's your order?

Alycia: Oh,

Annelise: Chi, of course it is. Your cheeky bugger like had such a beautiful way of connecting with people, meeting them where they're at. That is the essence of rapport. It's understanding that you can't meet everybody on the same level. You have to look at the person that you're dealing with. Look at who they are, their demographic, their background, their age, and you have to be strategic about where you meet them. Someone like yourself, you are in business. You're passionate about the business world. If I wanted to and I look, I think it'd be very easy for us, but if I wanted to sit down with you for two hours and just chat, right?

I would be very comfortable doing that. 'cause I know there would be areas that we really have in common that would be very easy for us to talk about. Right? So first of foremost, it's, it's knowing the person that you're speaking to, getting on their level. Right. And then there's a, a term in communication, which I love. You've definitely heard of it. It's matching and mirroring. Right now, matching and mirroring is seeing what you've been delivered, matching it, changing, and seeing if they mirror. Now the brilliance here is when you meet somebody for the first time. Now we say it takes seven seconds to make a first impression. It's not seven seconds, it's one 10th of a second. And new Harvard study has found one 10th of a second. Now that tells me it's not even your speaking. It's got nothing to do with your voice. It's got nothing to do with the words that you say. It is how you present yourself. It is your body language. It is your energy.

Memorability comes from feeling. Feeling comes from energy. So when you're meeting somebody for the first time, that very first interaction, when they come into the studio or you've joined online on Zoom or whatever it might be, what energy goes back to our very first conversation today? What energy are you presenting with? 'cause that is what they remember. Remember how you show up and the energy in which you show up, the body language, the facial expression, the clothing, it all speaks volumes of who you are and how you present yourself. So that's the energy piece. But then we get to the interesting part where it's like, well, shit, now I have to have a conversation with this person.

Now I have to talk to them. What do I, what do I do now? First thing that I love to do with building rapport, name. Now I have a strategy I use with names. When I wanna be memorable, I will ask for the name. So I'll be like, what was your name?

Alycia: Alycia

Annelise: It was Alycia. Was it Alycia? Lovely to meet you. Alycia. Pleasure. Now. Four times. We just heard that wasn't once. 'cause this is what people do. They'll go, what was your name? Alycia. Oh, love you, to meet you. I'm Annise. I've done here is I've gone, what was your name?

Alycia: Alycia?

Annelise: Alycia. Was it? Alycia. So lovely to meet you, Alycia. Four times. Now, the reason I do this, first and foremost, I'm very, very, very, very, very passionate about pronouncing names correctly. There are some beautiful names in this planet. There are some diverse names in this planet. Do not dishonor somebody by mispronouncing their name. So the first intention as to why I do that is you want to make sure you get the pronunciation of their name correct. So if I hear Daniella, Daniella was it.

Making sure I've heard it correctly. They go, Daniela, yes, Daniela. Lovely to meet you, Daniela. Four times I've heard the name. Do you think I'm gonna forget it after hearing it four times.

Alycia: Mm,

Annelise: Four times, it's stuck. It's in there. So what you're doing now is when you're starting to build rapport, you're gonna name drop just once or twice. Once or twice in the opening. Just once or twice you're gonna name drop. And what that's gonna do, that's gonna tell that person, I remember you. You're important to me. You're up here. I've got you. The, we love hearing our name. I remember, actually, I did it for a HIIT class a couple weeks ago, and I was in the class, I was sweating my fucking ass off and I was like, abs core, everything.

And I was like, whoa. Stretching. Stretching. And I hear about 15 or 16 minutes into the class. That's it, Annise, you got it, girl, keep going. And I'm like, yeah.

Alycia: Yeah.

Annelise: Yes ma'am. Yeah, I, yeah. I will keep lifting. I'll get like, it just,

Alycia: Such a difference.

Annelise: I, I, I was like, reborn.

Alycia: Yeah.

Annelise: Like, okay, I'm go, go on, I'm gone. Like we love hearing our own name. So I think when you meet people for the first time, do them the service of pronouncing it correctly, but do them the service of remembering it and using it in conversation. It's not being a sales rep and saying, oh, Alycia, I love the way that you've talked about that. Now, Alycia, I'm really curious that when you do something, Alycia, it's not, this isn't how we do it.

We don't do it like that. We use it sincerely and we use it genuinely. We use it when we want to connect over something. So it's rare, but it's intentional. So names is really powerful. I could go on for hours, but the last technique I'll give for a poor building is plus one. Now conversation is ping pong. It's tennis. It's back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Do not be the disservice in conversation by being the brick wall.

Alycia: And

Annelise: I mean by that is if somebody's speaking to you and you give them, yeah, no, great, it's been fantastic.

Alycia: And then what?

Annelise: Where do we, where do we, where do we go from here? It becomes awkward, right? You got a plus one. The more context you can give, the better. One of my favorite questions that I love is, what's been the highlight of your week so far? Now, the reason I love that question is it's not, how are you? 'cause what do people say when they hear, how are you?

Alycia: Good, thanks.

Annelise: Okay, good. Fine, not bad. Are either of those memorable? First impression? Make it count. If you're gonna answer, how are you, can you be a little bit memorable with it? I'm absolutely extraordinary. How are you? Oh, extra. Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm good. I'm good. Thank you. Yeah, be different.

Alycia: Yeah,

Annelise: Be different. Answer that question differently. Right. But coming back to what I was saying before, when you are starting that conversation, give a question that's a bit memorable. What's been the highlight of your week so far? Right? And when you get their highlight, you get to say yours and be intentional about the detail. I had this incredible cappuccino this morning and there was this beautiful little pup that came by me. And would you believe the woman in front of me, she paid for my coffee?

True story. She paid for my coffee this morning. I can't wait to pay it forward later in the week 'cause beautiful act of kindness. It's a little something. It's a little something. You wanna be memorable, you gotta be sticky, you gotta give sticky moments. If you are beige and you're vanilla and you glide easily and you're palatable through everything, you are not sticky, you're not memorable, you don't, you're not tactile.

You wanna kind of stick on people like peanut butter.

Alycia: On,

Annelise: You wanna have, there's something, you want something, something that people can grab onto and be like, Ooh, I liked that. I like that, like vocabulary. I'm very intentional about vocabulary.

Alycia: You are.

Annelise: And there's a few words that I use very intentionally and I use them a lot. Right. And I love doing that because people remember it. Yeah.

Alycia: Yeah.

Annelise: And that's the key piece. Find your things that you wanna be known for, that people will remember and do them consistently over and over and over again. Yeah. That's how you're memorable and that's how you can start to easily build rapport.

Alycia: Definitely, and I think even the names, like guys, if you've been listening to some of the podcasters that we've had on nearly every single one of them that has built like that cult-like community has a name for that community. We still don't have one for our community, but, but it'll come and like that, you know, they feel like that sense of belonging. But I think it comes back to when you are in person, when you've got a guest, you're trying to build that rapport. It's so important. But with your audience, you're also trying to do that. I really love that piece of advice. And I think with those little like slogans or catchphrases or words that you use, they are things that again, help to build a community.

Not only does it build rapport, but it then helps you to build something that people feel like they're part of. You know, a podcast that we're analyzing and I love at the moment is Hot, smart, rich by Maggie Seller. It is the best. I've only just found her and I've literally binged nearly all of her episodes analyzing and dissecting what she's doing. But, um, HSR. You are part of the hot, smart, rich community like you are A HSR girly. Like, you know, there's so many words that she uses to invoke that sense of belonging. Um, and you feel like all of the things that you've mentioned today, she does a lot of them. Like, you know, that energy when you sit down and I think there's been so many key takeaways in this conversation.

I could literally talk to you for like another three hours and I think we still have more. I think we'll definitely have to get you back on to talk about storytelling. 'cause I love the way you tell stories. Like, guys, if you've been listening to this and you just go back through the conversation. Any time you mention a story, I'm like, oh, and then what happened? Like you're hook, line and sinker in that, and I, there's such a framework and methodology to do that, and I know you put that on all of your stories. So absolutely. We will definitely talk in future, and we'll also put everything so everyone can find you, but if someone wants to get help with what they're doing and they're speaking and becoming more confident and having that assertive communication, where can they find you and how can they work with you?

Annelise: Yeah, so you can find me at her speaking coach on most platforms. So I've got LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok, those are kinda the big three. Uh, in terms of working with me, I have two online courses. So I mentioned that articulate with confidence. One is a really big one, and the second one speak with confidence. That's kind of your general foundational public speaking knowledge. So it covers things like your body language, managing nerves, uh, presentations, et cetera. All in one kind of training. I do one-on-one coaching with select few women, but also I have a very, very, very exciting project that's coming up early next year, which women in Australia will be involved in.

So can't reveal too much yet, but stay tuned for that. Make sure you're following and you'll find out when it goes live.

Alycia: Watch this space.

Annelise: Watch this space. Indeed. Yeah. It's very exciting.

Alycia: You so much for your time and your energy and all of this knowledge today. Like honestly, guys, your voice is so important when you're podcasting because yes, we have video. Yes, you're on YouTube now and Spotify with a video. But for so many people you're still. Such an auditory experience like you are in their ears and they'll hear so much more. There's all those little subconscious things, but also the way that you deliver your message, as you've said, you know, throughout this entire conversation, the way you're perceived comes so much down to not just the words that you're saying, but how you're saying them and the tone and intentionality with them as well.

So thank you so much for sharing with

Annelise: Thank you for having me. And the, the very last thing I'll leave people with is please use your voice and you build a relationship with her. I think that's the really big piece here is that yes, it's the toolkit. Yes, it's the strategy, but invest in really nourishing her and building the relationship. 'cause that's what's gonna serve you long term. So thank you for having me and letting me nerd out. Oh, it's been so great. So

Alycia: It's so great. I love it so much. Thank you.